Budget 2025 is a bit like discussing Hindi film lyrics from the 90s

Too many letters. Oh, and I’m not talking about the Russian alphabet, although it also has way too many letters. I’m talking about modern correspondence in this digital age. (The writer apologises for the loose use of the word letters. Sadly, this writer is forever apologising). In fact, this is with reference to emails, text messages, phone calls, and even the odd fax, (those under the age of 43, please Google fax. This writer is allowed only a certain number of words per column, by the editorial team).

All these messages ask only two things. The first is if I’m responsible for the Kala Ghoda Arts Festival? And depending on my mood, I normally answer “Sometimes”. The second question is more devastating. It goes on these lines, “Hello, uncle, since you are so old, can you decode the 2025 budget for us?”

Frankly, I’d much rather answer the question about Kala Ghoda Arts Festival. However, since millions are asking, and many of them being foreigners, I thought it only fair that I take a stab at it. After all economics was my ancillary subject in junior college. That I dropped it and opted for physical education is a separate matter.

First up, I would like to present terms that you should avoid trying to understand. Terms like the Nifty 50. Also, all other members of the Nifty family, such as Nifty Realty, Nifty Media, Nifty Auto, Nifty Uncle, Nifty Aunty... I think you get the picture.

These terms are just kept there so television survives.

Let me explain. Television news is the budget makers’ very own NGO. The budget makers help television with content, that they desperately need. The Nifty family plays a very important role. News panels can exhaust hours discussing these terms, without making any headway, and yet keeping the viewer entertained, by the dearth of any conclusive conversations on the subject.

It’s a bit like discussing Hindi film lyrics from the 90s. I mean who can decode the song ‘Ilu Ilu... Ilu Ilu...’? Another term to absolutely avoid is Sensex. Once you start getting involved with this Sensex, you run the risk of falling deep into a rabbit hole of unanswered questions. Then there are terms like short-term volatility, sectoral indices, debt markets, fiscal deficit and increased capex. Even while writing these terms, I feel sleepy. Suffice to say, (look the writer is no Nani Palkhivala, but he needs to, for the purpose of this column, at least sound like a leading global economist), the only thing that should really concern you, oh citizen, is the bit on income tax.

Since, upto ₹12 lakh per annum is tax free, it’s clear that your motivation should be to earn exactly that and nothing more. Once you earn ₹13 lakh, you automatically pay 15% tax. So, you’ve actually earned only ₹13 lakh – ₹1,95,000. This equals to ₹11,05,000. So, by earning more, you’ll be earning to exactly ₹12 lakh. I hope this settles all arguments. Now, let’s not mention any of this till the ‘26-27’ budget please. 

The writer has dedicated his life to communism. Though only on weekends.